What About Mental Health?

  

  We have been seeing a huge surge in discussions about mental illnesses and mental health everywhere in the past few days. As we all know, this started after after Sushant Singh Rajput died of suicide. (may he rest in peace and power).  There is no bad time to have a discussion about mental health. I want to get it out of the way beforehand, that I am not a psychologist, therapist or a student of psychology. The contents of today's blog are completely based off my observations, experiences and stuff that I have read. 

    Since so many people are down to discuss and learn about mental health, we must also tackle the underlying issues that cause mental illnesses. Since it is June- the Pride Month, let us talk about the mental health issues faced by the LGBT community because of the regressive and hateful mindset of the Indian society. Be it YouTubers with millions of followers or 8-9 year old kids, everyone knows that calling someone a ch*kka, gay, meetha etc is an insult. There have been countless cases of kids dying of suicide because they were bullied for being "feminine" or just "not manly enough". This could easily turn into a discussion about patriarchy and gender roles, but let's stop ourselves and focus on the issue at hand, but let us not forget that these issues intersect at every point. Imagine how hard it is for these kids growing up with so much hate surrounding them. Not to mention Indian kids already face a slew of issues due to toxic parenting, and this pile of hate is added onto it as well. 

    We really need to change our vocabulary, it needs to go through an intense cleansing. Because there is no way we will be able to teach the future generations be compassionate when our everyday vocab is filled with hate. This is to be done along with providing adequate knowledge about the LGBT community. 

    Let us also talk about how families contribute to mental illnesses, as they are usually the root of many mental health issues. Let us not kid ourselves, we know desi families glorify pain, suffering and sacrifice. Motherhood and fatherhood is measured on the basis of how much one has sacrificed, the more you've given up, the better parent you are. The children also are made to sacrifice their dreams in the name of responsibility towards family. Not to mention the abuse a usual kid has to go through when they are being compared, measured to and molded. The reluctance of desi families to talk about mental health contributes the most to the problem. Many times, talks about the issues children are having with the parents are taken as an insult of their parenting by the parents.The need to be a "normal" family usually trumps the needs of the children. These very children grow up with un-diagnosed depression, BPD, anxiety and rage issues which are then unloaded on another generation of children. It is a vicious cycle that will continue generation after generation, unless we break it. It will only be broken if we choose to talk about it, if we choose to deal with it head on- in the right way, which is by going to therapy.

    I would also like to address a few things I have come across on social sites. It is really great that you are offering to hear someone out, be there for someone in their time of need. But you also have to make sure you are strong enough to be able to handle someone unloading on you. You do not have a responsibility towards someone else, but you have a responsibility towards your own well being. Do not play a couch psychologist, no matter how good you think your intentions are. Do not give out any advice which includes- just ignore it, go out and get fresh air, etc. because it will do more harm than good. You may end up giving wrong advice or you may end up getting frustrated yourself and fracturing the friendship between you and that person. 

    In closing I would only like to remind you all to be mindful of your mental health.